Have you ever listened to a song and realized that the lyrics make significantly more sense than they did a week ago... Nickel Creek did that to me today.
"Helena"
Helena, don't walk away
Before you give me back my heart
If it were mine, it would be yours to take
I'm sorry I let down my guard, oh Helena
You looked so sweet
I should have seen
While I was playing for fun
You were playing for keeps
You win, I lose, is there some way
You can leave me in your debt
So my girl and I can live to die another day
On that day I won't forget you, Helena
You look so sweet waiting for me
While I wait for her to give me any reason to leave
Don't waste your pretty sympathy
She's gonna be just fine
And Helena, so will we
So will everything in time, mmm
Helena, don't walk away
Did you hear one word I said
Oh well, I never really liked her anyway
And I forgot her, I'll forget you, Helena
You're not that sweet
And neither is she
Go ahead and tell her anything you want,
'cause, Helena, guys like me never sleep alone at night
I don't need your sympathy
'cause I'll always be just fine
Yeah, I'll always be just fine
wow
Thursday, January 22, 2009
the best days
the best days are often the simplest ones,
i've found.
when the mundane and the irrelevant gain
depth and validity for no particular reason,
and the expectations you
never really had are exceeded exponentially.
on the best days, you never lose yourself
in the humdrum necessities of our
insignificant activities, but instead
can find yourself in the
subtle complexities that underlie our existence.
the best days rekindle relationships and
corrode malcontent; the best days
are the days you love, because its easiest to love
on the best days.
the best days come only often enough to
remind us of their beauty and to
refresh our souls,
brief in duration
but infinite in gratification.
today was one of the best days.
-Parker Miles
I took the liberty of editing the poem a bit. Not for grammar or anything, I just simply didn't like parts of it and decided to cut them.
Pretentious? Maybe, but this is my blog and I don't care.
the original can be found here
Props to Parker for an amazing poem.
Little aside, not the stereotypical poet. He sums it up quite simply on his facebook.
i've come to the realization that most people will assume things about me given any set of parameters. this realization has made me bitter, and it has emboldened me to never be confined by any label conceivable.that being said, there are 3 people that i know that KNOW me. do you want to be the fourth?
Or more simply put:
salutations my niggas; i'm aware that i'm different
i've found.
when the mundane and the irrelevant gain
depth and validity for no particular reason,
and the expectations you
never really had are exceeded exponentially.
on the best days, you never lose yourself
in the humdrum necessities of our
insignificant activities, but instead
can find yourself in the
subtle complexities that underlie our existence.
the best days rekindle relationships and
corrode malcontent; the best days
are the days you love, because its easiest to love
on the best days.
the best days come only often enough to
remind us of their beauty and to
refresh our souls,
brief in duration
but infinite in gratification.
today was one of the best days.
-Parker Miles
I took the liberty of editing the poem a bit. Not for grammar or anything, I just simply didn't like parts of it and decided to cut them.
Pretentious? Maybe, but this is my blog and I don't care.
the original can be found here
Props to Parker for an amazing poem.
Little aside, not the stereotypical poet. He sums it up quite simply on his facebook.
i've come to the realization that most people will assume things about me given any set of parameters. this realization has made me bitter, and it has emboldened me to never be confined by any label conceivable.that being said, there are 3 people that i know that KNOW me. do you want to be the fourth?
Or more simply put:
salutations my niggas; i'm aware that i'm different
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Perception and Expectation
Perception isn't everything, but perception and expectation together?
I've been shocked at people who've been impressed by the most inane shit I've ever uttered. I'm convinced that we decide what people mean before they even say it. It's probably some brain-energy-saving technique employed by our ol' thinkers to minimize the amount of time/energy spent on thinking about particular things, but that doesn't make it any less scary. Because it's just a reminder of how everything is based completely on perception. We could all be so wrong about everything, and since everything is taken through our individual perspective, there's no way to know what's real or not.
Because "real" is a relative term. And that's a scary thought.
Do we need "real" things, constants, to function properly? Probably. But that's ok, b/c there can be relative constants. For instance: belief. If you believe you believe something, than by definition it's constant. The inherent meaning of the word belief is the only justification you need. Which of course gets into the philosophy of language. How can we share pure ideas with words adulterated with connotations made up by people who never experienced your experiences.
All the random thoughts above stem from my being fed up with words. Or people. But I think it's a combination of failure between the two. Lemme 'splain:
Words have a spectrum of meaning. You can move along the spectrum with various tones and inflections (i.e. sarcasm, anger, boredom, etc.). But the length of the spectrum is determined by its definition, or more acutely, how and how often it's used by people. If you don't stick to the spectrum, then people won't understand you, eliminating the point of trying to communicate. but the word spectrums are generally smaller than I've needed them to be lately.
I guess that's a complicated way of saying that people keep using words disingenuously that i wanna use to convey "real" meaning.
I wanna go balks home for a little bit longer. And I wanna take the right words with me.
I'm done ranting (rambling, more like it) at 4 in the morning, but are some things that I wanna talk about above. If you even read this.
Bedtime.
I've been shocked at people who've been impressed by the most inane shit I've ever uttered. I'm convinced that we decide what people mean before they even say it. It's probably some brain-energy-saving technique employed by our ol' thinkers to minimize the amount of time/energy spent on thinking about particular things, but that doesn't make it any less scary. Because it's just a reminder of how everything is based completely on perception. We could all be so wrong about everything, and since everything is taken through our individual perspective, there's no way to know what's real or not.
Because "real" is a relative term. And that's a scary thought.
Do we need "real" things, constants, to function properly? Probably. But that's ok, b/c there can be relative constants. For instance: belief. If you believe you believe something, than by definition it's constant. The inherent meaning of the word belief is the only justification you need. Which of course gets into the philosophy of language. How can we share pure ideas with words adulterated with connotations made up by people who never experienced your experiences.
All the random thoughts above stem from my being fed up with words. Or people. But I think it's a combination of failure between the two. Lemme 'splain:
Words have a spectrum of meaning. You can move along the spectrum with various tones and inflections (i.e. sarcasm, anger, boredom, etc.). But the length of the spectrum is determined by its definition, or more acutely, how and how often it's used by people. If you don't stick to the spectrum, then people won't understand you, eliminating the point of trying to communicate. but the word spectrums are generally smaller than I've needed them to be lately.
I guess that's a complicated way of saying that people keep using words disingenuously that i wanna use to convey "real" meaning.
I wanna go balks home for a little bit longer. And I wanna take the right words with me.
I'm done ranting (rambling, more like it) at 4 in the morning, but are some things that I wanna talk about above. If you even read this.
Bedtime.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Oedipus
I'm the king's thirty second son
Born to him in thirty second's time
Born to him the night still young
Born to him with two eyebrows on
And that's all I was wearing
When I woke up staring at the world
My mom had been a rather crazy queen
But not at all a sex machine
She liked to keep her body clean, clean
Thought the world to be quite obscene
But she retired to her chamber
And we remain quite strangers
And to see me made her awful sad
And to touch me made her awful sad
And to see me made her awful
And to touch me made her awful
I'm the king's thirty second son
And all it took was thirty second's time
But a spoiled little prince I was not
Had a chamber maid and a chamber pot
And there's thirty one others just like me
There's thirty one others I can be
Sometimes I'd stand by the royal wall
The sky'd be so big that it broke my soul
And i stood on my toes to catch a glimpse
Of my mother's eyes and my mother's skin
And she retired to her chamber
And we remain quite strangers
And to see me made her awful sad
And to touch me made her awful sad
And to see me made her awful
And to touch me made her awful
And one morning I woke up
And I thought Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus
Then one morning I woke up and I thought Rex, Rex, Rex
Then one morning I woke up
And I thought Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus
Thirty two's still a goddamn number
Thirty two's still counts
Gonna make it count
Gonna make it count
Gonna oh oh
Thirty two's still a goddamn number
Thirty two still counts
Gonna make it count
Gonna make it count
Gonna oh oh
Long live the king
Long live the king
Long live the king
Long live the king
Long live the king
Long live the king
Long live the king
Long live the
I'm the king's thirty second son
There's thirty one others just like me
There's thirty one others on the way
There's thirty one others after that
Sometimes I stand by the royal gate
People screaming love and hate
And they scream
And they scream
And they scream
And they scream
Long live the king,
Long live the queen
And to see me made her awful sad
And to touch me made her awful sad
And to see me made her awful
And to touch me made her awful
And one morning I woke up
And I thought Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus
Then one morning I woke up and I thought Rex, Rex, Rex
Then one morning I woke up
And I thought Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus
Thirty two's still a goddamn number
Thirty two's still counts
Gonna make it count
Gonna make it count
Gonna oh oh
Thirty two's still a goddamn number
Thirty two's still a goddamn number
Thirty two's still a goddamn number
Thirty two's still a goddamn number
Thirty two
Thirty two
Thirty two
Thirty two
Thirty two
Thirty two
Thirty two
Long live the king
Long live the king
Long live the king
Long live the king
Long live the king
Long live the king
Long live the king
Long live the king
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Oh, Roommates
I love my roommate
And I don't mean "Oh, my roommates cool, awesome". No. I love him. Man love at its finest.
BUT We're going through a bit of a rough patch right now...
I came home late last night and this is what greeted me at my door, written on my nice new white board (thanks Peaches).
Dear Rodell,
You left me again. This is like the seventh time in two weeks. I don't know if I can continue on in this relationship knowing you'll be gone most nights. I need your love and comfort after a long day of studying Chemistry, but you don't consider that when you decide to go out. This makes me think that you don't care about me anymore. To top off your mistreatment, you'll sleep half of the day and ignore me. Tonight, I go to bed crying. :(*
So I guess he's feeling ignored. But I don't know, I need my space. I should assert myself. No, he'll just get upset again...What should I do? Advice?
*yes there was an actual sad face at the end of his message, frown and everything
And I don't mean "Oh, my roommates cool, awesome". No. I love him. Man love at its finest.
BUT We're going through a bit of a rough patch right now...
I came home late last night and this is what greeted me at my door, written on my nice new white board (thanks Peaches).
Dear Rodell,
You left me again. This is like the seventh time in two weeks. I don't know if I can continue on in this relationship knowing you'll be gone most nights. I need your love and comfort after a long day of studying Chemistry, but you don't consider that when you decide to go out. This makes me think that you don't care about me anymore. To top off your mistreatment, you'll sleep half of the day and ignore me. Tonight, I go to bed crying. :(*
So I guess he's feeling ignored. But I don't know, I need my space. I should assert myself. No, he'll just get upset again...What should I do? Advice?
*yes there was an actual sad face at the end of his message, frown and everything
Friday, December 5, 2008
Car rides
The car ride balks home was very quiet. Quiet enough to allow me to think. So during the car ride balks I thought.
College is very fast pace, flying by the seat of your pants. I've loved every minute of it (minus the studying my ass off for econ). But there's zero chance for introspection. You're always going somewhere or doing something or getting ready to go somewhere to do something.
What did I think about? I thought about Ethiopian jazz and how American/European of a concept it actually is. I thought about the practicality of abandoning conventional ethics in certain scenarios. I thought about how the red trees had finally begin to encroach upon the green trees' last resistance compound and the green trees probably didn't have more than a couple weeks. I thought about love. I thought about crappy french vanilla "cappuccinos".
And then break turned out to be a blur. Hang out, go home, call other friend(s), go see family, see more friends while making plans to hang out with other friends. Fun but hectic.
And then I come balks and have to study for exams. And take exams. Lots of things have happened/occurred to me that i want to write about, but it's been hard to find time. Which is why I'm writing at 5:30 in the morning.
More to come later.
College is very fast pace, flying by the seat of your pants. I've loved every minute of it (minus the studying my ass off for econ). But there's zero chance for introspection. You're always going somewhere or doing something or getting ready to go somewhere to do something.
What did I think about? I thought about Ethiopian jazz and how American/European of a concept it actually is. I thought about the practicality of abandoning conventional ethics in certain scenarios. I thought about how the red trees had finally begin to encroach upon the green trees' last resistance compound and the green trees probably didn't have more than a couple weeks. I thought about love. I thought about crappy french vanilla "cappuccinos".
And then break turned out to be a blur. Hang out, go home, call other friend(s), go see family, see more friends while making plans to hang out with other friends. Fun but hectic.
And then I come balks and have to study for exams. And take exams. Lots of things have happened/occurred to me that i want to write about, but it's been hard to find time. Which is why I'm writing at 5:30 in the morning.
More to come later.
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