I am not OK with destroying people. Especially over things that in the grand scheme probably mean jack shit. I shouldn't have said that b/c it wasn't true. I wanted to pretend I didn't give a shit. And honestly, to an extent I don't. But humans deserve to not be treated like shit by other people, they can get plenty of that elsewhere. So I'll simmer down and be a better person to somebody who just wanted to be a person.



I thought I was good at helping people. And maybe I am. But I can't fix things or people, simply b/c it's not my place. When I said I was a good listener I meant it, but I forgot what that actually entailed. Most of the time, "listening" actually meant relating. We like to hear other people put words to our identical thoughts (I spent over 3 hours doing just that with Dan-sturbia and Kyle, and it was one of the more satisfying conversations I've had recently). That's not always the case though, and I lost sight of that (or maybe I never knew). That at least in part explains a horribly failed email.


if we appreciate the truths before us, we can understand
the Truth
that exists beyond us:behind us:

because of us.
spirituality is as physical as it is spiritual. God is the pleasure
of living, He is the satisfaction you will derive from
understanding how precious this is.
how special this is. can't you see His people?
the people who share theirs when yours is lost.
the people who care when you are hurt, who
are sad because you are sad.

beautiful in all her forms

appreciation and euphoria are the only just rewards;
truest rapture is reciprocity.

the voices of angels will light the shadows of dusk
with dawn's brilliance; when we love physically and spiritually
and completely,
and unashamedly, we will know their voices. and through them,
we will know God.