Oh maaaan!

Just because I say that there's no way I can explain using words doesn't mean I'm not gonna keep trying. Because maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I can get it right, or at least get close. And I'm not gonna let myself (tell myself how to live...) take the cop out route by just giving up and possibly missing the chance to explain what means so much to me.

The surprise was incredibly presumptuous.

The surprise was so perfect, I was literally speechless.

Oh maaaaan...

How do you handle the end of a weekend like that?

First, you lie to yourself.
"You'll definitely see her again in the future. It's only a matter of time"

If there's anyone who can tell you about the impossibility of that guarantee, the fleeting permanence of life, it's her.

After reality slaps you around a little bit, you're forced to be real with yourself.
"Everything I've done, everything I can do leads me balks to her. All my decisions have led me to this point, therefore I have no regrets. Now I can only hope."

So you call her. You think about her. Sometimes you get goofy ideas and decide to follow them. Goofy ideas end you up at graph-making websites or outside windows throwing rocks. It's not the same as her being there. But you cope. Usually.

Souvenirs help.